Healing from Internalized Whiteness

Week 1 - 3

Growing up in a society built on white supremacy and systemic racism, it's impossible for you to not have internalized whiteness.

But since whiteness is so normalized, you grew up unconscious of how unconscious you were of that.

More importantly, you also didn't realize what internalizing whiteness was doing to you - even though it was emotionally and spiritually harming you.

To begin taking steps to free yourself from it, I will guide you through a self-discovery process where you better understand what was done to you when you were made white.

You will:

• Get a framework of what it means to be human in a dehumanizing world
• Learn a pathway to re-becoming human together so we may all get free
• Map out how white supremacy is impacting your life in dehumanizing ways
• Unpack the impact of believing in the lies of racism and learning the truth about it
• Understand why and how whiteness was created and the role you inherited from it
• Get another way of being in the world that's humanizing - and necessary for our collective liberation

Week 4 - 6

Whiteness teaches that you to be deathly afraid of acknowledging your internalized whiteness and remain ignorant of the racism that exists in this world.

As someone who acknowledges your own whiteness, this may leave you feeling both angry at yourself for still harboring racist biases, painfully bewildered at how to not be racist, and scared to take action.

To care for these feelings that are keeping you from taking action, you will:

• Notice when your internalized whiteness is manifesting - even if you're initially unconscious to it
• Understand how actions driven by internalized whiteness often dehumanize you and others - even if you're just trying to protect yourself
• Use healing practices to loosen the grip of internalized whiteness on you - even if you feel overwhelmed
• Work with your anger and frustration around racism - and put it into taking self-compassionate action instead
• Let yourself to be human - even if that means you sometimes make mistakes

Week 7 - 10

Whiteness can have such a strong hold on white folks, because it says you can either be white and with us - or you can not be white and we'll attack you for it.

The pain of losing this sense of belonging and connection to the white folks you love hurts. And it can keep you from being influential in places where you have the most potential.

To restore your broken relationships and inspire them with your anti-racism journey, you will:

• Practice how to address everyday racism without silencing yourself or coddling the other person - even if they don't realize what they did was racist
• Practice staying grounded in your body during difficult conversations - so it takes less of an emotional toll on you
• Practice co-creating a different future together that cares for everyone's needs
• Understand how to help people transform their ignorance and defensiveness into greater consciousness - so they will want to take action again racism too
• Learn how to share your story of healing from internalized whiteness - to invite them into authentic dialogue

This online training is primarily for white-identified people who want to incorporate a trauma-informed, healing-engaged, spiritually-grounded, and communally-held approach to their anti-racism work.

If you want a training that:

• Doesn't let you off the hook or coddle you
• Goes deep enough into your internalized white supremacy in order to directly tackle it
• Help you take care of the pain, fear, and anger that's stopping you from taking appropriate action
• Show you how to talk with other white folks who are less conscious in ways that are effective and humanizing

Then this is for you.

If you are a mixed race person with European/white ancestry, you are welcomed to join if you want to focus on healing from the ways you may have internalized whiteness but from a different social location within the racial hierarchy in our society.

While the framework and practices are delivered in pre-recorded videos, there will be live sessions for participants to ask questions and get coaching. If you wish to attend them or listen to their recording, it's important that you have the spaciousness to hear other white people share their pain and fear around acknowledging white supremacy without it causing a lot of pain to you.

It can understandably be hard for many people of color, including mixed race people, to not be angered or frustrated by white people learning about racism just now when it's been a part of their daily life and community for generations.  

If you do not want to, you are free to just watch the video recordings of the live sessions and not participate in the live sessions.

If you are a person of color and want to take this online course to work on your own internalization of white supremacy and oppression, you are also welcomed to join.

People of color have taken this online course in the past and have shared how transformative it was for them.

Just be aware that this is not designed for you - so you may not resonate with some of the framing of whiteness since you're coming from a different social location.

However you can benefit from understanding the perspective of people conditioned to be and act white and you will most certainly benefit from the other modules on healing ourselves and our relationships.

This online training starts once you register for it since it is on-demand with life-time access.

You will get:

1) 10 Weekly Lessons

These weekly lessons will be released over 10 weeks.

You will be notified of the new lesson via email and be able to access it via an online training portal on this website.

Each lesson will consist of pre-recorded videos and worksheets sharing frameworks and leading you through practices, reflection questions, and exercises.

It is self-paced so you can do the lessons at your own convenience.

2) 4 FREE Healing Programs 

After Lesson 6 on How We Can Heal Ourselves, participants will get access to four healing programs that will support them on their continued journey after this training ends.

This training provides the framework and practices necessary to get started on your healing journey. But you need the healing programs to help you integrate them into your everyday life!

And you get them all for free!

You will have lifetime access to the online training, which include the lesson videos, worksheets, and recorded group sessions with Sandra.

We want to both make this training financially accessible for low-income people and make this financially sustainable for Sandra and WildSeed Society.  

So we ask that you pay what's appropriate for you, given your class background and wealth privilege.

• Sponsorship Fee of $497 for people with annual income of over $80,000 USD or sponsored by their workplace
• Regular Fee of $297 for individuals with annual income over $30,000 and under $80,000 USD
• Subsidized Fee of $197 for individuals with annual income under $30,000 USD

If you live outside of the US and don't find the income guidelines helpful, please choose the fee that's most appropriate to your financial situation.

There are also multiple ways to lower your registration fee, including:

• Scholarship: If $197 is not reasonable for your financial situation, you can pay on a sliding scale. Apply here.
• Group Discount: Register with a group of at least 3 people and get a discount off the regular registration fee of $297. Request a group discount here.
  • For 3-5 people: 15% off at $252 per person
  • For 6-8 people: 20% off at $237 per person
  • For 9+ people: 25% off at $222 per person
• Payment Plan: Pay the regular fee in three monthly installments of $99. Register here.

No one will be turned away for lack of funds. Just send a message if you need more financial support. 

Also there is a 30-day money-back guarantee if you do not find it appropriate for you. So there's no financial risk to you!

Yes, there is a 30-day money-back guarantee. 

If you request a refund within 30 days from the day you first get access to the online training, then you'll get a full refund.

Given the importance of doing this work in a community, you are highly encouraged to bring this online training to any groups you're a part of and to go through the online training together.  

If you have a group of people interested, please request a group discount. That way each person can register at a lower fee.

• For 3-5 people: 15% off at $252 per person
• For 6-8 people: 20% off at $237 per person
• For 9-11 people: 25% off at $222 per person

Please also note there are also scholarships available for people with limited financial means.

Given the financial accessibility of this online training, please do not have just one person register and then share the online training with a group of people.

We invite each person to contribute at the level that feels appropriate to their income level and class privilege.

Thank you for following this honor system and ensuring that Sandra is paid for her emotional labor with white allies as a person of color!

The denial of feelings is one of the primary mechanisms used by white supremacy to make sure white people do not question its existence. Emotional repression in the face of racist violence is what allows for white supremacy to continue unchecked in white people's consciousness.

If white people were actually in touch with their feelings, then they would be called into action by their compassion when witnessing violence towards people of color - instead of justifying it with the lies of racism.  

But the unnamed and uncared for trauma of being made white results in white folks being terrified of getting in touch with their own feelings around racism. 

Consequently, they can’t do anything about something they won’t even acknowledge as being true. 

That’s why, healing the trauma from internalizing whiteness is needed for white people who want to be anti-racist.

This concern is understandable, given how white people’s feelings about racism play out often times. Too often, emotional outbursts like "white tears" and "white fragility" are often used by white people to derail conversations around racism. It keeps them in a position of being "good" and deserving of comfort from others. 

It is also often painful for people of color to witness white people becoming more conscious of white supremacy. It often reminds them of the vast disconnection between their lives that are often defined by racism and those of white people who get to remain ignorant of its violence, which allows it to continue unchecked. 

Due to these common reasons, it’s often advised that white folks don’t show their emotional reactions around racism in multiracial spaces. And that makes sense - in those contexts.

However, white folks who actually want to do something about racism still need to have a space where their emotions around racism can be held. 

It just means that it needs to be in a space where everyone has consented to look directly and deeply at their internalized whiteness and has the practices and support to care for it with compassionate accountability.

When white people are first waking up to the existence of white supremacy, they often want to plunge into action and do whatever they can. It can feel more important to do something - anything - rather than nothing. (Mini-lesson: That’s a norm from white supremacy and patriarchy!)

At the same time, they may also feel overwhelmed with their feelings - including confusion about what to do. Waiting to figure out what to do can cause more feelings that freeze them, like guilt, anxiety, and/or anger. 

Not helpful. 

While it is understandable to want to take action to stop the violence we're becoming increasingly aware of, it’s also important to remember that white folks just waking up to racism still do not have a deep understanding of its nature and existence around them or within them.

So they may unintentionally perpetuate racism - while trying to dismantle it. And then get more upset when it's pointed out, especially by people of color.

So it’s important that white folks are able to process the feelings coming up for them as they are becoming conscious of white supremacy around them - and take responsibility for the white supremacy within them...

Before they join people of color and work with them in solidarity. Otherwise, they will merely unintentionally reinforce white supremacy in their very attempt to dismantle it.

Yes, you will, because you’ll learn how to talk to yourself in a humanizing way - about your own internalized racism.

And it’s important that we take a humanizing approach to dismantling oppression because only then are we living our values - and not merely replicating the dehumanizing tactics of oppression.

Plus, it’s more likely to be effective because you get to come from a grounded place and meet them where they're at - from a non-judgmental and still unapologetic anti-racist perspective. 

By sharing your own stories of how you became aware of your unconscious internalized whiteness with compassionate accountability, you’ll be able to model that for other white people and invite them into noticing their own unconscious internalized whiteness without dehumanizing them.

Additionally, you’ll get communication practices to help you co-create the conversation so it’s consensual and the other person feels seen and valued as another human being - even if you disagree with them strongly.

Due to white supremacy, many white people feel entitled to having a person of color explain to them what racism is (and will often respond with white-splaining).

So it's understandable that some people (both white and people of color) feel uncomfortable with having a person of color lead a healing training for white allies.

So to be clear, Sandra first decided to offer these trainings so that other people of color wouldn't feel like that had to when engaging with white allies wanting to do better.

Sandra is also consenting to do this work and is able to do it in such a way where it is not painful or harmful to her. 

This is in part because Sandra is not working with random white people who wish to argue about racism with her. She is working with white allies who wish to deepen their capacity to do racial justice work - are willing to put time and money into it and listen to her guidance.

Sandra also has the emotional capacity to offer this training because of her deep spiritual practice and supportive spiritual community. This allows her to be energetically spacious enough to engage in emotional labor with white allies in a way that does not harm her. 

Sandra also has a different personal history of trauma with white people than Black and indigenous people of color in the US. Her family came from Korea to the US during the 1970's and she is the first generation born in the US.

So she does not have the degree of accumulated intergenerational trauma with white supremacy as Black descendents of slaves and Indigenous people do. 

All these conditions make it more able for Sandra to invite white allies into this healing work - from a place of spiritual groundedness and sense of shared humanity. 

This training will be accessible to people who are deaf and hard-of-hearing, 

The training videos and live Group Sessions with Sandra will have closed captions and the healing programs and worksheets are all written.

If you are deaf or hard-of-hearing and would like to attend the live Group Sessions and need assistance to make it accessible to you, please let us know here.

We can provide an ASL translator for you for free.

Please let us know via the Contact Us form.